Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Review: Standing Out by Katie Price/Jordan [Book]

♦/

I read STANDING OUT (loaned from the library, not bought. I'm not that bad :p) as I was morbidly curious at the propect of the woman known as Jordan instructing us on style.


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"There's been confident, and then there's been deluded"
[Fashion]
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This is Katie Price, so be prepared for me-me-me and, erm, beautiful photographs with constipated smoldering facial expressions thoughout the book, as she takes us on a journey of her changing "sense of style" over the years.

To be honest I'm struggling to recall any valid pointers clothes wise. Most of the 'tips' are just laughable; Make sure your diamonds match your outfit [pink diamonds with a blue outfit? How tacky], wear 'very high heeled stripper shoes' [with ankle socks. She's not tasteless] and short, tight clothes on nights out and buy your clothes in a smaller size for "a svelte look".

I don't know if she's just taking the piss or if she's being serious...


There are a few valid tips scattered throughout the book, but it's all basic stuff that we've all read in countless magazines: When going out keep flat shoes in your bag and if you feel bloated wear black.


The lasting quote that stuck was "'The other day I spent seventeen grand on Versace bedding at harrods. It was ridiculous. I just thought, Well I better have the best f-ing sleep ever"... Shortly before that she was telling us we could be looking fabulous on a tight budget.

Half the things mentioned is just her showing off how rich she is. Tacky; but then what did I expect?


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"If I've chipped a nail - oh my god, I just wouldn't feel happy
leaving the house"
[Beauty]
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However it's the stuff relating to beauty that really got me wound up. She has had skin cancer, yet her favourite way to keep her skin 'looking good' is to use a tanning bed. She justifies this with "we've all got to die from something". In other words, it's worth a early, painful death and leaving her young children behind, if she gets the skintone and texture of an orange. Fantastic advice for her mainly teenaged fans.

It's basically her showing off how rich she is again: Get facials every week, fly to LA to redo hair extentions every three months and get botox every six months. She has lost her weak grip on reality...


WARNING; the hair removal bit gave me nightmares [shudder], I wish I could forget it. What a class act she isn't.


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Presenting Katie's ten style commandments
(So you won't have to bother reading the book)
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1) Make sure you match
2) Don't be afraid of colour
3) Grooming - it's not just for horses
4) Keep it comfy...
5) ...but suffer to be stunning
6) Don't be a slave to fashion
7) Never worry about the weather - or what other people think
8) Confidence is key
9) Don't forget to look in the mirror - from all angles!
10) You don't have to splash the cash to look good


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RRP
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Hardback: £20
Paperback: £12.99
Summary: I worry for the fans that follow the advice, I really do.

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